Preferred Perception

to create reality is life's purpose – lessons from Nowheim

This And That


This And That

I read a suggestion somewhere that intrigued me: for an hour, be aware of anything you see, hear, feel, even think and say to yourself “I am that.” So, let me try.

The first thing I see is my hand. Sure, I am that, or it is part of me, or maybe I am part of it. That isn’t very satisfying. Now what? I grab a cup and pour me some coffee. Am I a cup? Am I coffee? I guess this exercise isn’t as simple as it sounds. Maybe it would be easier to start with something living.

A fly catches my eye. I hesitate but manage to mumble the words. They don’t resonate at all. A fly? A fly I am tempted to swat? A cup would be better. Granted, a fly can fly, and I cannot. It lives and eats and breeds; it wants to live as much as I. How about a worm? I don’t see one, but thoughts are included in the exercise. A worm can’t fly, doesn’t even have hands and feet; it wiggles in the dirt and most likely doesn’t enjoy good music. But it wants to live and doesn’t know any other way to live. There are two things we have in common. What else could connect us even remotely? We both exist in a physical form (like the cup) and both have to take care of it (unlike the cup) until it eventually stops functioning. Do we come from and go back to the same source?  I believe that we never cease to exist in that realm we call source, not even when we immerse ourselves in this physical realm. In other words, we don’t really come here and go back somewhere else. We are both here and there at the same time, and source is really all there is. I have drastically changed beliefs twice throughout my life. Currently, I feel most comfortable with the premise that there is no separation between source and physical reality and that everything and everybody is an aspect of all that is, expressing itself in physical form. Now, that makes me a worm, doesn’t it?

What is a worm good for? What am I good for? Aren’t we both like pieces of a puzzle, a puzzle that would be incomplete with just one single piece missing? We both, as individuals and as species, have a place in the ecosystem and in the state and evolution of the physical as well as the spiritual world. My coffee got cold while I was musing. I pour the rest out and rinse the cup. Back to the cup. When I am an aspect of all that is, and so is the cup, then there its no way around it. I am that cup too. What might that mean?

The cup was created to serve a purpose. I am sure somebody could write a book about the history of the cup. Tracing its history all the way back, we would come to the point where it was nothing but an intention, an idea that underwent a series of experiments and improvements. The evolution of the cup is just as much part of the evolution of all that is as the development of the space program and all the wars that have been fought.

The worm, the fly, the cup and I are source, each an aspect of all that is. As such, we have a hand in all of evolution and everything that happens, the good and the bad. I thought it was easier to begin this exercise with something living, but what about the cat who plays with the mouse and then leaves it to it’s injuries when it’s done and is not hungry? What about the spider who kills her mate when he has delivered? Thinking about Mother Teresa fills me with adoration and gratitude but also with guilt. Do I have it in me to be a saint? Thinking about Adolf Hitler raises the same question. Do I have it in me to be a mass murderer? Following my belief that everybody and everything is an expression of the same source, the answer must be “Yes, I am Mother Teresa, Adolf Hitler and Anne Frank.” Really?

My heart starts racing, my vision is getting blurred, and I can’t seem to focus my thoughts. Was the second cup of coffee too much? I’ve got to step outside, breathe some fresh air and calm down.

The birds and the bees are still flying around, and the white clouds still look pretty in the blue sky. Yes, I am that too. I am all of it. This exercise got me confused and upset. In such situations, I try to look at the so called big picture. From my physical perspective, I don’t know how all that is justifies what happens on the physical level, whether or how it intends, controls and judges. But, while I am incarnated in this particular physical experience, I am sure I have choices. Whatever I choose, affects my physical life as well as  my spiritual aspect of all that is.

Nature has done its magic again. Heart rate, vision and thoughts are back to normal. I am actually feeling very good. I have said for a long time that I can’t hurt another without hurting myself, that love I feel for somebody or something comes back at me in some way, even that my thoughts have an impact on the world however small. But I always shuddered at the thought that I may have anything to do with horrific deeds. I felt ashamed when I found myself feeling a degree of unconditional love for brutal criminals despite my disgust with their actions. I kept that to myself out of fear of being judged as heartless. If nothing else, this exercise has helped me see how the axe murderer’s as well as the hunted deer’s experiences contribute to the universal pool of thoughts and emotions I draw from. It has also reminded me of my responsibility. Not only am I this and that, but this and that is also I. What I choose to think and do and what I choose to focus on determines my reality and becomes available to all of us.

As Anne Frank said: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

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