Preferred Perception

to create reality is life's purpose – lessons from Nowheim

CM & CCC Moving

Fourth Episode

 CM realizes her own choices

CM – CCC Moving

CM-CCC-moving“Everybody should move every seven years.“

“You are crazy. And why every seven years?” CM wasn’t sure whether CCC was being sarcastic. They had just moved from a beautiful area with lush, green hills and narrow, winding and picturesque roads to a completely different area in the desert with wide, straight roads and nothing but brown all around. Instead of forests, meadows, rivers and lakes they saw bare mountains. No trees, just rocks and cacti. There was not one thing that resembled the old and so familiar place. Selling the old house was stressful enough, at least for CM. CCC, of course, focused on one step at a time and never doubted that everything would work out just fine. Adjusting to the new environment and finding a new place to live wasn’t easy either, at least not for CM. Driving and shopping was different, people behaved differently, and obviously the climate was different. CCC, of course, embraced the new experiences. When they had decided to move, he was determined to be happy wherever they’d move. That was his philosophy. CM agreed with him mentally but had a hard time when push came to shove.

“OK. Make it five years or maybe ten years or whatever. The point is that you get to take a good look at your life and yourself from a new perspective.“

“But I just started getting comfortable in this physical body of mine and our house at the lake. Before we emancipated from just being two opposite character traits in Daira’s head, life was so different. Yeah, I know. You keep telling me it wasn’t.” CCC had heard that phrase so many times, he couldn’t count how many.

“And now we act and choose the same way we did before, just in our own bodies.“ And CM had heard the same answer just as many times.

“Anyway, we’ve become quite good as a couple even though we are still opposites in pretty much everything. But we felt so comfortable in the old place. Didn’t we? Now everything is different again.“ They were strolling through a park near their new home. CM kept a close eye on the ground and the surrounding to make sure she would spot any rattlesnakes or scorpions in time before they could kill her. The spring weather was mild and sunny. How hot would it be in summer? Why did they have to move into the desert? She’d miss the trees and the neighbors and the animals, especially the hawks she used to watch back home. CCC stopped and looked up into the sky. She followed his gaze and saw a large bird.

“What is that? Is that a hawk? I didn’t know they are here too.”

“I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. It’s a bird. Stop looking for things we had there and stop comparing. Maybe the old looks easier in retrospect, but what’s the point?“

“Sometimes, I ask myself why we couldn’t stay where we were,” she sighed.

“Because you wanted to get away. Remember? You moaned about the house, about having no friends, about not enough money, about a lot of things.“ The path steadily climbed up. The air was much dryer here. CM knew she would have to carry a water bottle everywhere she went. What a hassle! CCC stopped at the top of the elevation, put his hand over CM’S mouth and turned her around in a full circle. As far as their eyes could see, there were huge cacti, some small squiggly trees, a lot of brown with bare, rocky mountains in the background. How she missed the green. He whispered into her ear.

“When Daira moved with us twenty years ago, you said the same thing about missing the ocean. Remember? And now you want to go back to the forests. Why not to the ocean? Do you really know what you want?“ That question made her feel even more lost and confused. What indeed did she really want? She couldn’t answer the question. CCC started walking downhill with a happy spring in his steps. He even hummed. He was not very musical, but CM recognized the melody to “What a wonderful world”.

“Where do you see trees and roses?” She hurried to keep up with him. The warm breeze felt good on her face. The path was all sand; warm, soft sand. It felt like they were walking on a beach. CCC stopped and pointed to the top of a tall cactus.

“Listen.” CM wondered how this bird could sit on a thorny cactus like that and sing so beautifully. This was a strange world. They stood and listened for a while. A couple with a dog, coming in the opposite direction, stopped too and started a conversation. CM had felt like a stranger in the new environment. Of course, she shouldn’t have been surprised that these people spoke the same language as the people in the old place. They hadn’t moved out of the country. She looked at them with an expression of recognition and appreciation. The bird on the cactus was a cactus wren. The tall cacti were called saguaros and only grew in that region. The couple told them about the area, life in the desert, recommended hiking paths and stores and a lot more.

When they walked on, CM reached for CCC’s hand. “I have never seen or heard of a cactus wren. This is all so new and different.” Before he could say something, she continued: “no, no. This is good. New is good. I know what I miss in the old place. But now I also know what I missed before we came here.” He squeezed her hand and smiled.

“And no more comparing? Or at least not with regrets?” Now she started humming the same melody, and he fell in with the words: “I see skies of blue and clouds of white.”

When they returned from their walk, CM looked around. Everything was different, starting with the weather and the architecture to driving and shopping. But one thing was the same. She was the same. No matter where they’d move, she’d take her happiness or unhappiness with her. She was the only person who could change it. That’s not an easy task when one is stuck in a rut. A move, especially a move to a completely different environment sets things into perspective and helps one reevaluate one’s attitude, relationships and choices. Their move was definitely a blessing.

CCC stood at the window and quietly looked out while Louis Armstrong sang: “Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

© 2016 Wilma Reiber